... for I cannot be well till I do do it

You will never know the thrill I got in discovering to-day that exactly 300 years before I was born, Samuel Pepys was concerned about his inability to fart!

Tuesday 17 May 1664

Slept well all night and lay long, then rose and wrote my letter to my father about Pall, as we had resolved last night. So to dinner and then to the office, finding myself better than I was, and making a little water, but not yet breaking any great store of wind, which I wonder at, for I cannot be well till I do do it. After office home and to supper and with good ease to bed, and endeavoured to tie my hands that I might not lay them out of bed, by which I believe I have got cold, but I could not endure it.

I know I should have saved this until my birthday but I was too excited and would probably forget it by May...